Although that may have sounded like a very self demeaning paragraph, I don't want you to worry. I think i'm totally awesome. I'm just not good at being motivated to stick with things, that's all, no one is perfect, and that's okay!
Which is what leads me into my thought for this sunday. I saw a quote yesterday that stood out to me- so naturally i posted it on instagram as some of you may have seen:
Good ol' Holland, always knowin what to say.
The guy who posted this picture had this caption:
If I were the adversary I think I'd try to get God's children to fight and compete with each other. No one would be focused on the true enemy. If I could get teammates to try to beat each other, siblings to try to outperform each other, church members to try to out-serve each other, and religious people to constantly compare righteousness, I could probably have my way while they all aimlessly bicker.
Perhaps the key to beating the adversary is simply remembering who the adversary actually is.
DUDE. How true is that. Why is it that people constantly compare themselves to others, like life is some kind of competition. Why is it so hard for people to just be satisfied with their own lives?
AND be happy for successes of others?
I heard a friend of mine, who was struggling being a new wife, feeling like all she ever did was cook and clean, say something to the effect of, "this isn't what i signed up for."
I thought about that a lot, and i want to make a comparison.
When someone decides they want to be a veterinarian, they probably make that decision based on the fact that they have always loved animals, and wanted to work with them everyday. Sounds fun right? You get to see cute little puppies, talk to other people about your favorite thing in the world, and spend every day with cute fuzzy animals. But then what about the day the young girl comes walking in with her best friend in the whole world, who can no longer walk because of a back injury, and you have to take the dog from the sobbing little girl and take it back into a room and put it down. Probably not what you thought you signed up for. But, along with all the good, sometimes there is bad. Just like being a wife, or a mom. There is great joy but sometimes hardships. It's a package deal.
Every profession,
every hobby, every aspect of life has things we didn't THINK we "signed up
for" but when we decided the receive a body, and come to this earth, we
signed up for ANY and ALL of it. Not because we wanted to have cancer, be homeless
,have depression, never get married, lose a spouse or a child, have a natural
disaster destroy our home, or any of the terrible, hard things that can happen
in our lives. We signed up because ultimately we wanted to return back to our
Father in heaven, and to get there, there are going to be SOME aspects that are
not pleasant. Such as spending large amounts of time cooking, cleaning, and
changing diapers.
Which leads me back
to my original question. Why do people so often compare their lives to others?
We are all SO different, and our lives our SO different, that it's like comparing apples and oranges.
Satan has many methods of discouraging us through comparison. One of the ways that I believe is most prevalent today is social media.
There are 3 particular experiences with social media that i have seen, that have been a testimony to me that we should never compare our lives to others, because we really have no idea what their life is like.
The first one is pretty generic. A lady I know posted a picture of a fun date night her and her husband and some friends had on instagram. It was cute pic, with a cute caption about how it was a perfect night with perfect people, etc. Looked like they were having a great time. The next day her and I were talking and she was telling me about a little snit her and husband got into and how it ruined their whole date night and she didn't even have a good time because she didn't even want to go and they still hadn't really worked things out because they were both being stubborn and didn't really even talk to each other much that morning.
Interesting.
The next is about a family I used to work for. I love this family but this experience was sort of the start to my strong feelings on not ever comparing my life to anyone's i see on social media. (or in general) So in this family, both the mom and the dad often posted to facebook about how much they loved each other, how grateful they were for their marriage, and the great strength they were to each other. They often posted about how amazing and talented their children were, in their various extra curricular activities. They raved about how lucky they were to have jobs that they loved, and could do whatever they wanted because they were self employed etc etc... So anyway I spent almost every day one summer at their house. And let me tell ya, it was chaos. Mom and dad bickered constantly. Every time dad would talk to mom it was as if she was a rebellious teenager who would constantly roll her eyes, and answer as if he was the over bearing father. Almost every word to the children was hasty. Never did I hear a "good job" or "im proud of you" and their businesses were a constant stress.
We are all SO different, and our lives our SO different, that it's like comparing apples and oranges.
Satan has many methods of discouraging us through comparison. One of the ways that I believe is most prevalent today is social media.
There are 3 particular experiences with social media that i have seen, that have been a testimony to me that we should never compare our lives to others, because we really have no idea what their life is like.
The first one is pretty generic. A lady I know posted a picture of a fun date night her and her husband and some friends had on instagram. It was cute pic, with a cute caption about how it was a perfect night with perfect people, etc. Looked like they were having a great time. The next day her and I were talking and she was telling me about a little snit her and husband got into and how it ruined their whole date night and she didn't even have a good time because she didn't even want to go and they still hadn't really worked things out because they were both being stubborn and didn't really even talk to each other much that morning.
Interesting.
The next is about a family I used to work for. I love this family but this experience was sort of the start to my strong feelings on not ever comparing my life to anyone's i see on social media. (or in general) So in this family, both the mom and the dad often posted to facebook about how much they loved each other, how grateful they were for their marriage, and the great strength they were to each other. They often posted about how amazing and talented their children were, in their various extra curricular activities. They raved about how lucky they were to have jobs that they loved, and could do whatever they wanted because they were self employed etc etc... So anyway I spent almost every day one summer at their house. And let me tell ya, it was chaos. Mom and dad bickered constantly. Every time dad would talk to mom it was as if she was a rebellious teenager who would constantly roll her eyes, and answer as if he was the over bearing father. Almost every word to the children was hasty. Never did I hear a "good job" or "im proud of you" and their businesses were a constant stress.
Now don't get me wrong, this was not EVERY SINGLe SECOND but it sure seemed like it. i strongly believe this family loves each other, i know they do, I know they are probably generally happy, but only because I have gotten to know them very well.
But had i not known this family and spent so much time with them, if i had only based my opinion off their facebook lifestyle i wouldve considered them the ultimate family. And they really are a great family, who i have tons of respect for! But they definitely aren't perfect.
And the last is quite sad. A girl i grew up with, who i used to follow on instagram, (i eventually unfollowed in my purge of people who i am not immediately connected to, you should do it, it's liberating) anyway, i didn't know her or her husband super well, But i knew who both of them were. Super nice, solid members of the church, fun personalities, etc. Every post from her was about how amazing her husband was, and how happy they were together. Tons of cute lovey, happy pics. I'm not sure if she was working or going to school, but he was currently in school for a particularly difficult field he planned on going into, (which she often posted about how proud she was of him for being such a good student) So when I found out they got divorced after only a couple years of marriage, because she didn't feel that kind of lifestyle was what she signed up for, needless to say i was shocked.
Again, don't get me wrong. I am NOT saying people need to stop posting sappy love posts or "i'm so proud of him/her" posts , or" i love my life" posts., because i think it is wonderful that we love our spouses, and our children and our lives. When you feel blessed, it is wonderful to share those feelings, and i think we can all agree it'd be better than constant complaining posts. I have nothing against these people or them posting. My point is, YOU CANNOT KNOW SOMEONE OR THEIR LIFE FROM THEIR SOCIAL MEDIA ACCOUNT. I don't know why that is so hard for people to understand.
So stop comparing your life to theirs! Who cares if someone goes on vacation all the time? (that one might be easy for me, since i'm a total home body and have no desire to leave my back yard) Who cares if they only post ADORABLE pictures of their children, dressed perfectly, and behaving perfectly? (I can promise you they have probably pooped where they werent supposed to, and their hair isnt always perfect. Who cares if someones entry way is perfectly set up, with a perfect color scheme and decor. Who cares if someone's makeup and hair looks perfect in every picture they post (ever heard of filters?) Why would you think someone is happier in their marriage just because they post pictures on every date night they go on? Who cares!!
People, quit comparing yourselves and just be happy. Love your husbands. Love your children, love your homes, love your lives! We are all SO blessed! And remember, this is exactly what we all signed up for.
anyway, here's some pictures to make you super jealous and want to be just like me, and have my life-
Jon broke his horse so he goes for rides every night now.
The other day i told Jon i wanted a hammock, so he said, "okay, i'll make you one out of baling twine." So we'll see how that goes.
Here's some other things Jon has said.
Quotes from Jon:
Jon: You should eat ice cream, that'll make you feel better.
Me: I already did.
Jon: Wow! I don't know what to tell you then!
Me: I'm sorry I killed you with my morning breath.
Jon: You didn't kill me, you just put me in a coma.
"I think the worst thing about our marriage is your driving."
"Why are you so good at everything?..everything weird."
And just this morning after eating some home made granola bars, "They would probably be better if they tasted different."
The end.
